Childhood

When I think back to my life and childhood thus far, I can't remember a time when I wasn't trying to lose weight.  I was always bigger than I should have been at any given time.   I recently cleaned out my grandparents attic and found my old diaries (boy were those fun to read!).  Almost every entry said something about wanting to lose weight or "diet starts Monday".   I can even remember trying out for basketball in middle school and being terrified of running in front of everyone and making sure I got to practice early so I could get the largest jersey size.   In gym class we had to run a mile, and I would always ask my teacher if I could do it after school so I wouldn't have to do it in front of everyone.   Everything in my life was carefully calculated to protect myself.   Every decision I made was thoroughly calculated in my head as to not expose myself to embarrassment.

When I turned 30, I finally realized I didn't want to live this way anymore.  This blog is my story.  My journey to me.